For God’s Sake! Now you tell me.

Posted on August 17, 2011

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Dr Pepper can in Japan. (It's curious to note ...

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Worst morning ever.  Breaking news:  The New York Times reports that crunching (those heinous excercises where you try to haul your fat head up off the floor to touch your knees as you moan grow and throw your bakc out) may be good for nothing more than your vanity.  Yup. It’s true. Studies (ahh…those reliable little things that sold me on the idea of ‘core strength’ in the first place!) show that core strength may not mean jack after all.  For god’s sake…where’s my motivation then?

The first time I saw Jesse (husband, father, student, aritst, punker, and director of all things Medeiros) with his shirt off, I immediately regretted my then daily nutritional choice of Venti Mistos & maple scones.  It was hard to process that my love of all things creamy, fat and covered in frosting was now staring at a boldly chiseled 6 pack.

Dear Lord: May he not expect my stomach to look like that when I take my shirt off.

What a love of feeling good that guy has!  Disclaimer:  The life of an abdominal 6 pack isn’t perfect. When I met Jesse he cooked with some sort of god awful vegan cheese that didn’t melt (I mean, you could NOT melt the stuff.  You could put it in a frying pan over a blazing gas flame…put it directly under the high voltage radiation of a microwave…it remained solid, lumpy and intact) and started his mornings with egg whites in liquid form.

He was gracious enough to take mercy on my belly, but he did introduce me (and let me point out that my motto for survival in the 90’s was that is entirely possible to survive on Dr. Pepper and cigarettes!) to a little health and wellness.  Ok, if I’m honest, he said, “let me introduce you to a little something I call the gym. You need it.”  It was a horrific place…benches like crime scenes where I was sure that the sweaty outlines of the bodies represented those who had died or fallen in exhaustion.)

That first year of dragging my tired ass to that stink hole (and yes I was puffing cigarettes outside the door) changed my life. Gradually I began to realize what I had been missing for 28 years.  I felt better, looked better, had more mental peace and more self control.  It’s been all good ever since.  My experience with fitness and my concept of health has evolved over the years (thank God, right?) It is always growing, changing shape, expanding in meaning.

I still don’t have a 6 pack. Admittedly, I’m just not motivated enough to eat the unmeltable vegan cheese.  Also (and JM gets so annoyed with me when I say this–I swear that genetics are against me.) I am however eternally grateful to the research that has driven the learning…even if it turns out that the success of something like crunches may be all in my head.

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Posted in: The Path